Okay, enough about me. So much of these past few entries have been spent rambling about all my personal jive that I’ve neglected the true meaning of this journal. I forgot that this blog is about you, dear reader.

It’s with that in mind that we offer this next two-part series, a stumbling instruction for beginners in home decoration. Specifically, this revolves around basic hardware and architectural pitfalls that ensnare renters and homebuyers alike when house/apartment hunting. The things you overlook and wind up paying for later. Like your own personal Money Pit, but with less Shelley Long and more complete lack of enjoyable humor.

In this first installment, I’ll walk you through some signs of neglect and poor maintenance that you can pick up on. I’m not just talking about door knobs that aren’t as shiny as they should be. These are issues that can be hazardous to your property or even your health. Or sometimes just really annoying.

What to Watch For

1) Electrical Outlets. It’s already a good idea to check on how many outlets are available in each room. You can (almost) never have too many. But check closely - make sure these are modern, grounded outlets. Older and polarized outlets without grounded sockets can be incompatible with many appliances and electronics. And adaptors are not always a safe solution.

Another issue I’ve seen in many apartments is the result of crummy painters - they actually paint over the socket. Either because they were too lazy to remove the cover plates while working, or they wanted the plates to match the wall color. This is how landlords and contractors try to save a buck. It isn’t necessarily dangerous, but it can damage the plug if you force it. And there is always the possibility for something to catch on fire. This leads me to the next point…

2) Paint. In general, you want to be wary of what’s on your walls. Run your finger over a dry space of the wall - if you come away with a lot of chalky white residue, this is often a sign of low quality material, which can leave residue elsewhere and likewise isn’t healthy. Similarly, look for ripples or bubbles in the paint - it may be painted-over wallpaper, which can lead to a lot of chipping and cracking. And of course lead paint is to be avoided at all costs.

3) Floor Tile. Whether in your bathroom, the kitchen, the basement or anywhere else, pay attention to the quality of your tile. Note if you feel your shoes sticking - more often this is the result of glue or sealant than just some spilled soda. And the top of the tile is not where glue should be. This can not only cause the tiles to pull up, the glue tracks onto floors and carpet.

4) Ceilings & Roofs. Don’t forget to look up. Your roof is often going to be a liability, so never neglect to get a good look for telltale signs of early trouble. Look for warping or sagging in the ceiling and paint, along with any slight discolorations. Also look to the corners and tops of the walls for cracking or peeling. These indicate leaks and possible structural deterioration. I recommend taking an especially tall friend with you for house hunting to poke at the hard-to-reach areas. Failing that, carry a step ladder.

5) Moulding. Problems with moulding may not always cause big headaches, but it’s the little things that you want to watch out for. Check that the pieces are all firmly affixed to the walls, preferably nailed in. In carpeted rooms it should snugly tuck down the edges. Anything sticking out can get caught and cause tears, fraying or hurt feelings. And in general, loose moulding can provide space for insects and pests to move in and out of the walls. And they don’t pay rent, so you shouldn’t have to f.

Bear in mind that none of these should necessarily be deal breakers, especially if you’re renting - consult the terms of the lease to see what you can force the landlord to correct, and what is your responsibility. There are ways to fix a lot of these issues yourself, which we will cover with the next installment.

Of course, this list is in no way complete - if you’ve got any extra tips, feel free to offer them in the comments section. I might be inclined to include them later.

The advenure continues…